I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
This is my gift to your gina
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
