I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
