Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
