I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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