Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I could have mohawked her pubes.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We have started to decorate penises.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
