It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
