keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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