dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
