i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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