there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
