I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
