$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
