Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
