i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Are my feet made of real feet?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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