i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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