I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
