It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
