he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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