Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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