smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
