Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
