So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
