You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
