): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
