a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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