youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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