He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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