Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
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