Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
