I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
