We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
