I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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