And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You dont lie about slip and slides
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
