shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
