I just made out with a guy for $7.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
