I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
