They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
