It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
