Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
false alarm, still single
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