things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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