he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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