You're so nebulous sometimes
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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