Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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