Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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