i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
