drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i think im in europe. pls send help
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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