I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
