yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
