I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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