Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
