Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I didn't notice because vodka
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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