Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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