it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Church boner. Awkwardddd
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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