and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
is wine microwaveable?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
